Thesis: Stuck

This is my last year in school.  College has been immensely challenging and rewarding.  Eugene Lang has been awesome.  I adore the history department and am deeply gratified for the work and dedication of my teachers, so much so that I zealously defend my love of history when people suggest that I seem more like an anthropologist or media theorist.  Parsons has been a troubled and uncomfortable relationship, but one of much growth.  I have become dedicated to the happiness of my piers as their creative inspiration and comradery is what propels me through the program.  As a trade school, Parsons is focused on making students industry ready, often catering to the needs of various design industries over the educational needs of students.  I have on more than one occasion put myself in difficult positions by defending or helping other students rather than playing along with the competitive, production oriented atmosphere.

Now, confronted with thesis work, I’m terribly daunted.  The Design and Technology department has been amazingly good to me, and I’m grateful for the enthusiasm and investment that teachers have made in my success.  This support is a complete turn around from my experience in the photography department, where I often felt like an awkward anomaly.  I feel obligated to honor that support by producing a thesis project that both the department and I are proud of.

I’m stuck though.  If thesis is about making a portfolio piece, and portfolio is about getting one of these jobs that are the reason why Parsons can fail the be a nurturing educational environment, shouldn’t I resist having a portfolio?  This is terribly naive and self-defeating logic, I know.  I’ve gotta come back around from being mad at Parsons and make something that I care about and that honors the commitment of the professors that have been focused on the well being of their students (as people, not as future workers).  It’s a struggle though, and at the moment, I’m stuck.