Thesis: Giving Myself Permission

Progress with the­sis has been slow thanks to other projects being active and excit­ing. The polit­i­cal machi­na­tions at school, com­bined with seri­ous con­fu­sion and skep­ti­cism among Par­sons stu­dents about the the­sis exhi­bi­tions isn’t help­ing either.  The entire struc­ture of the exhi­bi­tions has changed this year, result­ing in stiffer com­pe­ti­tion for space.  In sev­eral depart­ments, stu­dents are fronting their own money to rent space off cam­pus for exhi­bi­tions to make sure that everyone’s work is represented.

I recently opted out of a great oppor­tu­nity to par­tic­i­pate in a pho­tog­ra­phy work­shop real­iz­ing that the week of hard work away from school would only drag more of my cre­ative energy away from the­sis.  The Nar­ra­tive and Dynamic Sys­tems class I am tak­ing is open­ing up new pos­si­bil­i­ties for cre­at­ing engag­ing dig­i­tal expe­ri­ences.  I am try­ing to stave off fears that it’s just too late to get good work done.  At least now I feel like I am ask­ing the right ques­tions, which is huge progress from last semes­ter.  Strangely, the drama over the­sis exhi­bi­tions is help­ing take some of the pres­sure off of exhibit­ing work that I am pre­ma­turely crit­i­cal of.  The Design and Tech­nol­ogy the­sis process is as much about the per­for­mance of an idea as the actual exe­cu­tion of it.  Have I per­formed enough to get the okay to actu­ally make some­thing?  I don’t know why I keep look­ing to oth­ers for this answer.  I’m the only one who can suc­cess­fully give myself that permission.